More Than A Father

Note from Dan: The following was written and originally posted in June, 1998. While updating the site in 2006, I rewrote some of the articles to make them “fresher,” but felt moved to leave this one alone. I think you’ll see why.

Yesterday was Father’s Day, and in keeping with our family traditions, we celebrated the day with a truly spiritual activity – we went out to eat. As Sharon, Sara, and I sat at our table and talked, my daughter Sara asked me if she could write today’s CaseStudies column. I was a bit hesitant at first, but then I decided that, if Bill Keane could let little Billy draw the Family Circle comic strip on occasion, that it wasn’t unreasonable for me to let Sara take a crack at writing CaseStudies. Actually, it was already written. It was a paper that she had written for school a while back that she wanted to share here:

More Than a Father by Sara Case

Father’s Day is one of those days when everybody talks about their father. I have what could be one of the strangest tales anyone could possibly weave. The only thing is, this story is 100% true. I was born Sara Diane Laing on November 4, 1978, but on December 18, 1992 Sara Angela Case came to be.

My mama and daddy got divorced in July of 1987, and I felt like my life was over. I had never been without my daddy, and suddenly, he was gone. He didn’t just not live there anymore; it seemed like he didn’t want to see me either.

In April of 1989, my mama met Dan Case. He was a loving, caring man who wanted nothing more than to be with my mama. When they began to think about getting married, my mama asked me if I loved Dan. I told her that I wouldn’t love him – not because he wasn’t my daddy, but because I wanted her to have him. At that point in my life every man I had ever loved had gone away and left me and my mama behind. And I wanted my mama to have Dan like I’ve never wanted anything before or since. When I told my mama this she cried, those big, sloppy tears that mama’s can turn on and off. Then she told me that if I could or would risk loving Dan that he would never leave us. I realized she was right, and on July 28, 1990, my mama married Dan Case. Since that day I’ve been a much happier person than I was for the two years between my mama’s divorce and her remarriage

About two years later, I asked Dan Case to adopt me. It is an amazing feeling for a child who has been rejected by her own father to be taken in by another father. My birth-father didn’t want me, but Dan does and he chooses to have me. I’m very glad to have Dan, and he’s very important to me. On the day that Dan adopted me he gave me a gold locket. That locket is perhaps the most valuable thing I have. It is worth money, but that’s not its value. Its value comes in the inscription. On the front it reads “S A C”, and on the back it reads “LOVE DAD.” There’s supposed to be a comma between love and dad, but that jeweler made one great engraving “error.”

Most children get their parents by default, and they are very lucky. However, those of us who are adopted are the really special ones, because when we didn’t have a father (or parents, in some cases) the coolest thing ever happened. Somebody, who didn’t have to, choose to love us and take us as his own child.

I gave Dan a picture for the first Father’s Day after he adopted me. It reads…
More than a Father
More than a Friend
Our love has no Limit
Our friendship no End

SAC

Today, Sara is “all grown up” and living on her own. She’s teaching German in an Elementary School that is focused on International Studies, and is highly regarded by her peers. I’m VERY proud of her, and I couldn’t love her more even if she were my biological daughter. Two of the best things I’ve done in my life have been marrying Sara’s mom, and adopting Sara. I chose them, and they chose me, but even more important is that God chose US for each other, and made the introduction.

If you are considering adoption, let me offer you these words of encouragement:

“Do It.”

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